Wade just has a problem with the concept of not killing the messenger. By the way, thanks for the delivery, C.F. Your Pal,ĭeadpool: ”BLACK TOM CASSIDY”?!ĭeadpool: That irishspringsmellin’whiskey swillin’leprechaunkissin’cornedbeefandhash microwavin’mutant scum - Taunt me, will you?! I’ll show you taunting! I’ll taunt you till you bleed out of your ears and run home to mamma!ĭeadpool: Frikkin’ frakkin’ Black Tom crakkin’ wakkin’ C.F.: Deadpool’s really P.O.ED! At least he’s goin’ to take it out on someone else for a change! What did this Tom guy do anyway -?ĭeadpool: Just in case you were wondering - C.F.: MEELLFFGH Deadpool: - Black Tom had some chump cut off my hand and he kept it. hairy Zeus on a traffic light! Got to hand it to you, lad, you’re a tough one to find. With my life’s blood, I swear it!ĭeadpool: I will not rest. What’s with the box, C.F.?Ĭ.F.: Dunno, came for you by courier - Whoa! Deadpool: Goodie! Maybe it’s those rocket skates I ordered from the acme company! The last pair backfired and almost blew my legs halfway to my duodenum. Or a wife to keep an eye on you! Maybe that irish girl -Ĭ.F.: Here! Deadpool: Have you forgotten what happened the last time you mentioned Siryn, Weaz? Of course you have, your breathing has returned to normal. C.F.: Stupid Deadpool costmetwentybucksandIhavetobuyhimastupidbeer. Weasel: This is serious! Your healing factor’s out of synch, and if guys like T-Ray see any signs of weakness from you - Consider your back stabbed in advance.ĭeadpool: It’s so precious when you mother me! Very Mister Belvedere of you. Weasel: You used to be able to regenerate a whole limb in a matter of minutes! And have you noticed that you’ve been dropping weight? Weasel: What’s wrong with you, Wade? Deadpool: I’m three thousand bucks poorer for starters. Your breath is so bad, when you call people on the phone, they get nauseous. Shove off, T-Bag, and on your way home, knock over a Quick-E-Mart ‘n steal a pack of tic-tacs for criminy’s sake. Deadpool: Oh boy, T-Ray veiled a threat at me. Feels uncomfortable, doesn’t it? I’d get used to it if I were you. You can stop foolin’ around anytime now, ‘Pool. Weasel: Deadpool: - Finger?ĭeadpool: This is a joke, right? No, can’t be, ‘cause then I’d be playing the joke on myself, and I’d have to kick my own behind for such tomfoolery - And I’m not hardly limber enough to whup my own tail. Patch: Okay, it’s your lunch money, T-Ray -ĭeadpool: Mind. T-Ray: Call it a sucker bet, then, take the green, Patch! Deadpool: NGGH! Take the bet. We’re just bettin’ on how long it takes for his healin’ factor to kick in. Patch: ’Course he’s gonna grow it back, T-Ray. T-Ray: You call that action? Three G’s says he doesn’t grow it back at all. Patch: Alright, who says he does it in three minutes? I got five bills for four and twenty. To think I could be sipping imported beers right now in an overstuffed lay-z-chair instead of watching this - Deadpool: WILL YOU STOW IT, WEASEL?! I’M CONCENTRATING HERE!ĭeadpool: I lost this digit saving your scrawny butt from the clutches of the Taskmaster - The least you could do is pretend to be thankful and shut yer yap while I try an’ grow it back!ĭeadpool: And score some payola in the process! Heh-heh suckers. Now I can be humiliated with props Issue 3 Deadpool: NGGHK Weasel: Enough with the theatrics, Wade. Taskmaster: onto our next ordinance-swordplay. Uh Oh! Where's my gun -? Bad Gun! No pointing at your master! Bad Bad gun! give it back or I'll tell. Deadpool: Fine! Let's skip you up to "Lead Swallowing" one-oh. Deadpool: Yeah! So's mad cow disease.ĭeadpool: Are you ready for a dissertion on pain, chump! Open your text-books to chapter one- "BOWL EVISCERATION AND YOU!" Taskmaster: I don't believe you're qualified to teach that course. Executed in the style of Master Shingen Dakota- Deadly, but easily defensible. I wonder if this has anything to do with the way I treat him. Weasel!ĭeadpool: What in God's name? WEASEL CLEANED HIS ROOM!ĭeadpool: Good thing he's such a paranoid puppy or I never would have tracked him down. you wanna talk babes, you have to find a bud that's lamer than yourself. Oopsie! How careless of me! Better luck next time, you jerk!ĭeadpool: should've known better than to discuss romance with Al. 1 Issue 2 Deadpool: y'know, camping outside someone's window just to watch them sleep used to be considered romantic -but today it's called "stalking" and generally considered trespasse - though the term "stalking" has a certain Byronic flavour to it-īlind Al: Really Wade, mercenary to peeping tom in one night.īlind Al: Oh! Did I mess up the salt and sugar again. Deadpool: Then I have clearance.to say hell yeah! Deadpool: And now, I'M better at whatever Wolverine does! Deadpool Vol. Favorite lines Deadpool: Shhh.My common sense is tingling.